Birthday Wishes

It's the most wonderful time of the year and that means one important occasion that tends to get overlooked. Chet's birthday! During our Christmas celebrations, someone will mutter to him out of the side of their lips, "Oh, happy birthday." And then they will resume their holiday merriment. He is lucky if someone bakes him a cake. No one ever eats it anyway as it sits all dusty in the back of the Christmas feast buffet.

This year I decided to be somewhat proactive and plan something fun for us to do. A whole evening just to ourselves. I told him I had the babysitter lined up and all he had to do was let me know where he wanted to go.

"Let's go coyote hunting." He said.

I almost choked on my Lifesaver. I started to laugh and then I realized he wasn't kidding.

"Oh, ok dear. That sounds fun!"

In borrowed camouflage gear, I followed him out into the woods last night. We didn't go too far until we came across a clearing lined by some woods. He pointed to a place for me to put my chair and he went to set up his call.

Some fake tail thing started spinning around and I laughed and called out to him, "That looks funny!"

He glared at me and shushed me and shook his head. As he made his way back to where I was sitting, he whispered, "You are so good at hunting."

The reality of this was all starting to sink in. I wasn't allowed to speak for how long? I snuggled in a little closer to him, thinking that if I couldn't talk, maybe cuddling would get me through until we were done. He nudged me away. "I can't draw my bow back if you are too close." he whispered.

I rolled my eyes. Bow, schmow.

Some of my beautiful tresses kept tickling my face. I reached up to scratch my cheek and move my hair back. He shook his head. I did it again because when you have an itch you scratch it. "Stop moving so much." he said. "You can't make sudden movements." I realized I was in for a long night. Now I know how Junie B. Jones feels all the time.

A train started to rumble by and I rolled my eyes again. Why wasn't he yelling at the train to be quiet? The train was doing much more disruption to nature than my talking and wiggling were. This wasn't fair.

He switched the sounds on his call again. It sounded like a little kid yelling for mom from the bathroom. "Mom! Ma! Mom! Mom! Ma! Come wipe me!" Or basically like that anyway. I got the giggles but at the same time I felt like I had to get up and go help the poor child. This went on for quite a while and I couldn't contain my laughter. While no sounds came out, my body language said it all. It's like getting the giggles in church; no one can hear you but everyone can see your shoulders bobbing up and down.

He shook his head again. I could still hear the train rumbling in the distance. I had every right to laugh silently.

The sun started to go down and he whispered, "This is the best time for coyotes."

"I'm on the edge of my seat." I whispered. And I was, literally, because I think from my waist down was numb.

My face itched again. In slow motion, I raised my hand to my face and slowly scratched. I carefully brought my hand back down and then slowly turned to look at him, expecting a slow nod of approval. But he was just looking out into the woods. That's ok. I must have done it slow enough that even he didn't notice!

The sun finally set and he stood up. I sat there still, not sure if I was allowed to stand or not. He started packing up his things and I still sat. I didn't want to do anything else wrong. He looked at me and I think his eyes said to stand up so I did.

I made it! I did everything wrong and I was a terrible hunting partner but now he can't say that I never go hunting with him. And it was all for a good cause.

We went home to change and spent the rest of the evening out on the town, dining and shopping and acting like the mature adults we are.