Lunch Fiasco

The kitchen was an absolute disaster this morning as I made food for Ruby's baptism.  I had croissant rolls rising on one counter, my second attempt at cupcakes baking in the oven and pasta boiling on the stove.  It was hot and there was flour everywhere.  The sink was piled high with dishes and there were kids everywhere, climbing up on upturned milk crates to look to see what I was doing.  About 80% of the kids were asking for lunch when Ruby started fussing.  Chet was busy with homework on the couch and I didn't dare interrupt him.

I gave the kids a choice.  Either wait until I was done feeding Ruby to have lunch or make your own sandwiches.  Of course, they all jumped at the chance to make their own lunch and hauled the sandwich stuff to the table.  Bad idea.

It didn't take long for the yelling and screaming to start.

"Quit touching the bread, Milo!"
"Eeek!  Stop it!"
"Tucker licked the lid, Mom!"
"Piper and Milo, you guys quit crowding me!"
"I can't open the jam!"
"Mom!  The babies keep touching everything!"
"Fine, who wants to eat plain jam sandwiches?"
"You are not getting peanut butter if you keep doing that!"

Avery came around the corner looking completely exasperated.

"The babies keep touching everything and no one is listening to me!"

I wanted to say, "Now you know how I feel."  but instead told her to put everything on the counter and wait for me to get done feeding Ruby, as it clearly was not working out.

"No, I want to do it."  she said, going back into the dining room.
"I'll keep the kids distracted so they don't bug you."  I said.  "Milo and Piper, come here and look at this!  Isn't this cool?"  I pointed to a garage sale ad in the paper.
"Yeah!"  Milo yelled, his eyes wide.

Avery popped her head around the corner.  "What's cool?"  she asked.
"Nothing!"  I said.  "I'm trying to distract them for you and I'm clearly distracting you."

"And this!" I said to Milo again, pointing to another ad.  "A green shed sale! Isn't that cool?"
"Yeah!"  Milo yelled.  Then he followed Piper back into the dining room.

The yelling and screaming started up again.  Avery soon appeared around the corner holding the peanut butter, jam and balancing six pieces of bread.

"What in the world are you doing?" I asked her.
"I don't know where to put these."  she said, looking at my crowded counters.
"Put them back at the table and finish what you were doing.  It looks like you are almost done!"
"But that guy and that girl keep touching everything!"  she yelled, pointing her dirty knife towards Milo and Piper.  "And I don't know where to put these!"

I grabbed the newspaper next to me and held it to hide my face and silently howled.  Chet doubled over laughing.  Avery scowled.  We laughed harder.  Her eyebrows dropped further over her eyes and we laughed louder.  Then she turned around, facing away from us and I could see her shoulders hopping up and down.  She was clearly laughing too.

"I'm going to throw these at you!"  she said, giggling.

Next time I'll just make lunch myself.