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Terrible Mother

Chet and I got to bed late last night; he was working on his resume and cover letter and I was proof reading it and trying not to be too critical.  I think it was almost 1am when I finally fell asleep.  I'm not exactly sure, though, as I never notice what time it is at the exact moment my body shuts down for the night.  It could have been 1:02am or 1:04am, and I guess we'll never know.

Milo was up at 3am and 5am and then again at 6am.  Avery came down around 6:15am for the day and took her usual place at Milo's crib-side, entertaining him until I woke up.  He wasn't enjoying her entertainment, though, and demanded a bottle.  Chet was racing around, having slept though his obnoxious chainsaw-bagpipe-pots&pans alarm and I stumbled into the kitchen, looking for the formula.  I found it with only one eye open but it was a challenge successfully pouring a scoop into the bottle.  The first two ended up on the counter.

I gave Milo his bottle and he fell back asleep and I and went back to bed.

I was rudely awakened by a five year old, which seemed like seconds later.

"Mom!"  she yelled.  "You are a terrible mother!  Your babies are crying from their cribs and you just keep sleeping!"  

Well, excuse me!  I bolted out of bed and noted the time to be 8am.  Oops.  I scolded Avery for her rudeness and inappropriate name calling, true or not, and tended to the babies.

Both babies needed fresh diapers.  I had both eyes open this time and found my way to the closet without a problem.  One diaper left.  Two babies needed diapers.  Two minus one is one.  Who needs it more than the other?  By the smells of it, they were both equally in need of a diaper change.  I dug into the diaper bag.  No diapers.  Convenient.  I looked in my purse.  What a glorious sight.  Not just one diaper but two.

This is what happens when Mommy works full-time.  We run out of things.

After breakfast, I packed up the kids and we made our way to Target.  I love Target.  And I love Target diapers.  And Target wipes.  And Target formula.

As I loaded them into a cart, a man came up to me and asked, "What do you do in your free time?"
I looked at him and shrugged.  "I don't have free time."
He laughed.  "Thought so."

Random.

As I walked through the store, I thought of rebuttal questions I should have asked him.  "What did you eat for breakfast?"  "Did you dye your hair gray or are you really old?"  "What color is your toothbrush?"  "Have you ever met an albino squirrel?"

Three out of four kids listened to me while inside the store.  One did cartwheels down every aisle and two kept standing up in the cart and wouldn't sit down until I got to three.  Milo just grinned and giggled and wiggled.

As I started putting groceries away after we got home, I heard laughter and the sounds of splashing water.  Upon investigation, I found two children in my bathroom, pouring soap into the toilet, splashing their hands around in it and laughing hysterically.  I went outside to see if I could find their parents but then I realized that they were mine.

I started to make lunch and Chet called.  As I told him about my adventurous morning, I heard muffled laughs and thuds.  Three strange children were jumping on my bed, pulling on my blinds and otherwise causing a disaster in my bedroom.  It's funny, because kids are not allowed in my room and I know for a fact that my children know that.  I called the neighbors to tell them to come get their kids, but they told me they don't have kids.

Everyone went for naps after lunch.

When Avery was done with her quiet time, I started to cut her hair.  And that's a blog post for another day.

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