Skip to main content

Don't bug me.

I was putting together some new furniture and was knee deep in screws, anchors, power drills and dust when the kids come running over.

"Mom! There's a HUGE bug in the shower."  someone yelled.
"What does it look like?"  I said, repulsed.
"It's black and brown and is like this."  Avery said, holding her fingers in the shape of a rectangle.
"How many legs does it have?"
"Let me go check."

Shudder. It's beginning to sound like a speedy bug.

"Mom! It has forty ten hundred legs and two long legs on the top of his head! Come look!"  she yelled.
"Um, no, I'm, um, really busy right now." I said.  (Shudder. It is a speedy bug.)
"But Mom, it's so HUGE!"  she yelled.
"Go kill it then! I'll give whoever kills it an ice cream cone."
"Ok! Tucker, let's go kill the bug then we'll get ice cream!"  Avery said.

Equipped with Chet's tennis shoe and a fly swatter, my two little bug killers killed that bug. After the execution was complete, I gingerly stepped into the bathroom to have a peek. I wasn't so confident it was dead, so I did what I always do and drowned that bug in bleach. I don't know if you know this, but when you pour bleach on speedy bugs, their legs fall off.

"Mom! Now it doesn't have any legs! Oh... (sad face) It doesn't like having legs? Where are it's legs going to go? What happens when the bug goes down the drain? Do other bugs eat it?"  Avery wondered.
Last time I saw a bug that big, I was 36 weeks pregnant with Piper. I did what I do best and I took out a bug bomb and bombed the place. I came back after the allotted two hours, opened the windows and decided I better use the bathroom before leaving again to let the house air out. While in the bathroom, I started coughing and coughing. I could feel my airway tighten up and before you know it, I couldn't talk and could hardly breathe. I thought about calling 911, but then saw the cops leave to a call, so I decided they were too busy. I grabbed my phone and ran outside where the kids were. I called Chet, who was working on a roof in Edina.

"I can't breathe."  I whispered.
"I can barely hear you. Can you speak up?"  he asked.
"I don't have a voice. I can't breathe.
Uh, maybe you should call 911?"  he said.
"No, they're too busy."  I said.
(Snort) "If you can't breathe, you need to get some help. I can't do much from here."  he said.
"No, I think I'll be fine."  
"No, you can't even talk."
"Ok, I'll get some help."

I didn't. How embarrassing would that be?

"Uh, officer, hi. I live right next door, therefore this is especially embarrassing because you'll see me every day from here on out and think to yourself, "That's the lady who freaked out over a bug and ended up in the hospital". Anyway, I can't talk or breathe because I was too scared of a bug and decided to spray chemicals all over my house and now my airway is closing up and can you watch my kids while I run to the hospital?"
After sitting outside pondering my options, my airway started opening back up again, but I still couldn't talk. I called the doc, just to make sure I was ok, and he said I need to come in and be evaluated.

The foreign ER doc told me that since the baby's hot and longs weren't fully working yet, no harm was done to the baby.

I'll never bug bomb my house again. I'll just utilize my little bug killers.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Real Manly, Chet

It's hard to find the time to blog these days.  I figure once life slows down a bit, I'll start taking more pictures and adding more posts.  But to those I tell that too, they ROFL.  Life doesn't slow down. Chet and I try to squeeze in as many dates as we can, as we hardly even see each other during the week.  Our date on Monday evening started out deciding on a place to eat.  I have to comply with my Weight Watcher's points and Chet is trying to put on weight. So you tell me.  Where do we eat? We ended up getting a Jimmy John's for me (I could eat half) and an Arby's meal for Chet. We were off in search of summer clothes for Chet as his previous summer wardrobe has consisted of clothes he wore to confirmation camp.  In other words, old and out of style.  As I browsed the racks at the store, I noticed something.  Had we just held onto his confo clothes, they would be in style again. His doc warned him that if he didn't start wearing a...
1 comment
Read more

Summer Boredom

Summer boredom is in full-swing for the eldest child of the family.  If I had known it would be this bad, I would have enrolled her in summer school.  I've been laid up with a work injury and have been ordered to take it easy for the rest of my pregnancy so I haven't been the most fun mom to hang around these days.  I mostly give orders from the couch.    My poor children haven't been able to have the summer they had been dreaming of all winter. Like Avery said, "This is the worst summer ever!"    The few days of rain we just had made the ancient wooden door frame of the deck door expand, making the screen door close to impossible to close without slamming it shut.  Avery has been doing most of the slamming as I am mostly incapable of such behavior and one of the times she didn't see Milo on the other side, trying to get in.  His finger got slammed in the door and it swelled to Timbuktu.  Chet brought him into urgent care a few da...
Post a Comment
Read more

Boo-Falo Days

Every year, fireworks come to town on a Friday night.  Since I work every Friday night, I only hear them rattling the windows on my resident's rooms.  Well, sometimes I peek out the blinds and see one or two go off and then reassure my resident that no sir, we are not being bombed.  It's only Buffalo Days fireworks.   We haven't ever been able to bring the kids down to the lake to watch them but who needs to when you can see them from our street corner? Chet let Avery stay up late and he brought her outside to watch them.     And of course, the carnival also comes to town, one block away.  I coughed up $20 bucks on Saturday and treated the older kids to three rides each.  The nice, toothless man allowed Piper to ride for free on this one, as long as I went with her.  And as long as I wouldn't tell anyone.  Oops.  And he said I had to sit in the back because I wouldn't fit in the front. There was a parade o...
Post a Comment
Read more